Earlier in my 20’s, during a time when I piled bad decision
on top of bad decision and dug myself a hole that seemed too large to get out
of, I started thinking that dying might not be the worst thing in the world. I
thought, “Sure, the sadness my parents and other family members would feel would
be unimaginable, but wouldn’t it be better for them to feel all that sadness
now and have the chance to move on instead of having me inflict continuous
disappointment and pain throughout the rest of their lives?” I never thought
about killing myself, but I thought I saw a silver lining if something were to
happen to me.